2012-02-16

why men and women cant be friends

Jesse Budd had prove us the reasons of un-illegal relationship between men and women. He brought us to see      the psychology of men and women. Women may say yes, cause they have no feeling towards his guy friends, but what about the guys? At the end of the discussion, all the respondent said no - because thats the real answer. im not going to babbling about this issue ~ just watch this movie and conclude it for yourself. 



maybe you can see this - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA

The only solution is back to the quran ~


what is the legal relationship between men and women ( other than get married) ? there is certain part of our life that we need each other. we can classified it into 4 main points :
1- studying (male teacher n female student or vice versa)
2- selling n buying ( seller n customer)
3- medical needs (doctor n patient)
4- amar ma'ruf nahi mungkar

i would like to discuss about the 4th point, amar maruf nahi mungkar. what is the definition of amar maruf nahi mungkar? when you are connecting with the other gender, is it circling only on amar maruf nahi mungkar? ~ find it yourself! here, i brought the opinion of Imam Hanafi who take the usulfiqh of  "the origin of everything is haram, until come dalil to allow it". From his side, the relationship between men and women is actually prohibited (haram),  if and only if proven with dalil to allow it, they can be connected. so, you can think on your own, the awlawiyat of connecting with verses gender and it limitation. The young daei must hold on the right pillar.

Im asking to myself and you, are we going to beat the rule of islam in the stand of amar maruf nahi mungkar? i know, not all daei do like this - then take this as a reminder to pevent yourself from any evil things. we must remember that we live at the last age of life, as we know, there is a lof of fitnah spreading in our life. please, save ourself from become a part of fitnah. amin. insayAllah ~ life is easy when you live in islamic way of life because islam is easy~

~ as my naqib said, this relationship is flexible. is it true?~

9 comments:

  1. Assalamualaikum..I have heard about "the origin of everything is haram, until come dalil to allow it" in Mazhab Hanafi but did you go through all of Mazhab Hanafi?Yes,the origin of ikhtilat is Haram (I have heard in my Usrah Naqib when I was in school) but did Haram makes friendship between men and women also become Haram?Don't you have any friends of men?I did not want to create controversion just asking for your opinion...
    https://www.facebook.com/groups/213534145408495/doc/223689621059614/
    Please read it first...

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    1. waalaikumussalam..
      first, thanks for opening this discussion. actually, i had done some research about this and im still searching,but what i've post above is the opinion of fatimah syarha and us wan mohd nor who discussed bout this on his fiqh mar'ah lesson.

      second, as a muslim, we know that there is a manner in ikhtilaf. when we got different in opinion, we shold respect the others opinion. as we can see, our 4 imam mazhab, who never argue when they had ikhtilaf. from behalf of me, i respect the opinion of usth fatimah syarha and post hers becouse it will be more safe to my 'girlfriends'.and my own stand right now is "if there is nothing to be discuss, then what is the used of connecting? " hope we'll find the truth and stand on the right path.

      third, there is the different between friend n sahabat, i could say that i've no guys friend but i have sahabat (girls n boys). friend is like you make fren with him without any mission, it just a friend. but the sahabat is differ, i make sahabat with them on the rail of islam, and we had the same hadaf in live, to stand up right the islam in this world. on my relationship with them im holding the dalil from quran on surah at-taubah ayt 71. when we look into this ayt, it use the term of "awlia'" (penolong)and not frens. maybe we should further our research bout this term..

      last, this issue will never end, because we had come from different background, we refer from different sources, and we had different understanding, so, to make it simple, i'll respect any other opinion if they had a concrit dalil on it. and hope the others will do same to me.

      p/s- i cant click on ur link, can u link it back?

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    2. First,I also done some research about it...I have gone trough all over Fatimah Syarha's blog but I couldn't find her opinion that she prohibit the friendship between men and women.For your information,I also do my homework in Fiqh Mar'ah.I have searched at DQ's library all books about Fiqh Mar'ah in topic of ikhtilat including books that written in Arabic(Kitab2 Arab) but no one prohibit the friendship between men and women..

      Second,I never argue about ikhtilaf.For your information,
      if you really do your homework,you will see that they(Imam Hanafi & Imam Syafie) will achieve the same thing in ikhtilat.
      In Mazhab Hanafi,the methodology used is "the origin of everything is haram, until come dalil to allow it" while in Mazhab Syafie,the methodology used is "the origin of everything is harus, until come dalil that prohibit it" but they will agreed in ikhtilat,when was the ikhtilat become harus and when was the ikhtilat become haram.
      To befriend doesn't means connecting.It means being connected.The person that been connected not always connecting each other.Me,myself also just contact my friends of girl when there was a need,not for fun.I also learnt religion,understand the limitation between men & women in Islam.The point that I want to emphasize is,I've many friends of girls but we just contact each other when there is a need,not for fun.

      Third,for me it is same between those two terms.A hukum doesn't being derived from the term but from its condition.As example,Liquor were prohibited because it can drunk people & it will be always haram although you call it other names like fun water,or anything;it remains haram because of it condition that drunken person.For me,the ways you connecting that makes it prohibited not because the term you used to.Although you call him sahabat,but if you coupling,it remains haram because the way both of you connected is haram even thought you call him sahabat.Can you see what I try to explain?
      But,from my observation;you've a good and pure heart.You just want to avoid ikhtilat ghair syar'ie with build a safe distance between men and women.I can see that.

      Last,yes,we come from different background,we refer from different sources,and we had different understanding but did you forget that we believe in same deen,in same faith.I didn't say I didn't disagree with you just want a discussion on it.

      p/s - I cannot link it..You can open it in document of Dakwah's FB group.

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    3. subhanallah, u've just open what i meant, alhamdulillah coz Allah had make us understand about this. hope that we really apply it in our live, insyaAllah...

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    4. Understanding needs maturity... i need to do more research..

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  2. My friend has said: to have relation with you is flammable!!!

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  3. ye ke?? buktinya?? bagi sikit.. kami baru belajar... nak tahu gak....
    tapi macam setuju yg at atas (TO HAVE RELATION WITH YOU IS FLAMMABLE)..
    suka cari masalah...haha

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    1. the video above had show us that women n men cant be JUST a friend, the term just means that 'hanya senye' being fren,

      actuially, islamic law is flexible at diff. place and time, so, we sholud know where n when boys n girls being connected.

      hope Allah will fall the rain upon us

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~ thanks for your comments~